When he was 2 years old, he fell out of a second story window and fractured his skull
When he was 6 years old, he mistakenly drank boric acid.
When he was 9 years old, he fell over a small cliff and broke his leg.
When he was 11 years old, he contracted measles and was in a coma for nine days.
When he was 14 years old, he broke his arm when he caught it in a carriage door.
When he was 19 years old, he was struck on the head by a falling brick.
When he was 23 years old, he almost died from the effects of tainted wine.
When he was 29 years old, Adolph Sax invented the saxophone.
clearly someone didn’t want that saxophone invented
THIS NEEDS TO BE A 300-PAGE SCI-FI NOVEL BECAUSE I WOULD READ THE HELL OUTTA THAT
#it never gets old
Castiel has now assimilated all of Metatron’s pop culture knowledge. Cut to Dean Winchester and Castiel leaning against the Impala, hanging out and talking. Suddenly, Castiel puts his angel blade in his mouth. Dean asks him what the fuck he’s doing. Castiel responds, “It’s a metaphor, Dean. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.”
just fucking eat this whole sack of flour
(breaks into your house) can i pet your dogs